Children, babies and breastfeeding

Small communities are likely to have a wide variety of ages - from babies and young children, young parents, experienced parents all the way through to elderly and frail.  Most communities have a similar variety - but in small communities they are more likely to come along together, because there isn't the luxury or resource of age-specific activities.

This is an issue that came up recently for a group we support, and this is a message that was sent by the organiser to two of the team:

Thanks for listening to people's feelings and views about the children and breastfeeding at services.

I think we are doing well together in handling each issue as it arises for the group.

Rabbi Jonathan doesn't think there is a particular solution - in fact he remembers how he and his brothers were taken to shul each week from the day they were born, no doubt sometimes doing what babies and young children do - yet as they got older, his own parents used to turn and glare at noisy children and their parents!  We all change, and sometimes our memories conveniently forget!

He suggests the best we can do is probably:-

1) talk with the father and say that some older members are finding the children a challenge, and encourage him to bring more things for them to do.

2) We let other people know that we are figuring it out together, and perhaps that we are listening more and are more aware. I got the impression someone wanted to say how she felt, and then concluded that things are changing.....she didn't seem to need an immediate solution.

The question of breastfeeding is one we may have to listen to others about a bit longer. I can tell the mother that some people are uncomfortable with it so maybe think about how she does it, but we need to be careful as we don't want to be considered critical.  I believe she does it to try and 'keep the baby quiet'.  Perhaps she can use a blanket or cover? 

So no magic answers, and I guess we all continue to listen, hold out for inclusion of everyone.

I will continue to be with the children at the services and meals, and help out. I invite others to do the same - that will help everyone 'settle', I hope - worth a try!

Rabbi Jonathan will mention that we all have differing needs and attention spans in the group - acknowledge that there are issues and differing wishes.

Do you think there is anything else to do, apart from our continued patient listening? Do email or call me with your views /ideas. Three minds are better than one.