Introduction

Many small Jewish communities around the world do not have Rabbis to guide them on a regular basis.  They are usually very self-sufficient on a week to week basis.  From time to time, however, questions may arise for which they need the knowledge and experience usually provided by a Rabbi (Rabbis in the Progressive Movement - Reform, Liberal, Reconstructionist, Renewal etc), undertake a rigourous training program, usually at leats five years post-graduate, which includes not only the traditional sources such as Bible, Talmud and Midrash, but also Practical Rabbinics, Counselling and Congregational Practice.

In the regions of the world covered by the Union for Progressive Judaism (Australia, New Zealand and Asia), we have in place a system of 'Consulting Rabbis'.  Congregations in our movement that do not employ their own Rabbi, either temporarily or permanently, are allocated a 'Consulting Rabbi' who is working in another congregation in the region, and is familiar with the rules and practices of the region (to which, in our case, those congregations are obligated with regard to matters of Jewish status). 

For ease of access, quick reference, and for general interest, I have put up some responses to questions that have been asked, or could have been asked, by congregations.  I have been a Progressive Rabbi for over 25 years, graduating in 1988 in London, and since 2003 I have been working in this region, based at the Leo Baeck Centre for Judaism in East Kew (http://lbc.org.au/), in Melbourne's Eastern Suburbs, and have been Consulting Rabbi for several of our smaller congregations over that time.  I also supervise the on-line 'Introduction to Judaism' course which you'll find more about at http://pjv.org.au/education/introduction-judaism-0, and which has been useful to several of our smaller congregations who don't have many of their own adult education courses.

In that connection, I have produced a Hebrew learning course, Hebrew from Zero, designed for adult self-learning, available from Amazon at
http://www.amazon.com/Hebrew-Zero-unique-easy-Edition/dp/1466462183/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1382330375&sr=8-4&keywords=jonathan+keren-black
or Fishpond at http://www.fishpond.com.au/Books/Hebrew-from-Zero-Jonathan-Keren-Black/9781466462182
and also edited an introduction to Progressive Judaism called 'Judaism for the Twenty-First Century', available from Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Judaism-Twenty-First-Century-Rabbi-Tobias/dp/1456307576/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1382330375&sr=8-3&keywords=jonathan+keren-black
or Fishpond at http://www.fishpond.com.au/Books/Judaism-for-Twenty-First-Century-Rabbi-Pete-Tobias-Rabbi-Jonathan-Keren-Black/9781456307578
These, as well as the prayer book 'Mishkan T'filah World Union Edition' are also available from the synagogue office, +613 9819 7160 (9am to 2pm M-F) or email office@lbc.org.au

Finally - why is this blog dated 2013?  That is my 65th birthday - and a way to ensure that this Introduction stays at the top of the list even as new items are added after today!  So I lied to the system - but for a good reason.  Sorry!

WHEN SOMEONE IS DYING

I received this sad message, and it is not uncommon:

My husband has been quite ill recently. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer and had an operation in January. He

then had an infection whilst on holiday and spent two weeks in hospital. When we came home he got another 

infection. He fell because of he was so weak with the infection and is now in the local Hospital.  He is so weak he 

just lies in bed unresposively most of the time. I spoke to his consultant who said I was right to be worried about him

because the antibiotics weren't working. He hasn't been eating or drinking much at all. He has lost loads of weight 

and is very weak and dehydrated. They have now put him on a drip for the dehydration and have given him the 

meal replacement drinks to boost him up. It is so sad to see him like this. I spend most of the day beside his bed 

but sometimes he doesn't even know I am there. Say some prayers for him, please, Rabbi. 

Rabbi Jonathan responded: 

It is so sad to hear this news, and it is hard to be much help from afar, but, though we never give up 

hope, we also need to be realistic, and I am going to say a few things about dying which I hope may 

help - I hope that is OK.  I visited someone in hospital today in a similar position.  I was able to discuss

with her and her daughters the option that Victoria (but none of the other parts of Australia) now have,

of assisted dying (at least for the terminally ill).  Not that she should use it, but that it gives her control

of her destiny, when she is losing her dignity and is in continual pain and discomfortt and anxiety.  In 

my Yom Kippur Yizkor memorial service sermon, I talked about the fact that God does not take life, but

gives us all (and every thing in the universe) finite life.  At some point, each of us has had enough, 

and it sounds as if perhaps Lawrence is reaching that point.  Only God is eternal.

On Monday I did a funeral and prayers for a lovely woman of 93 - she was losing her sight and fearful of 

going completely blind.  Her motto was 'Be lucky in life: be lucky in death.'  She had a massive stroke - 

her husband found her in the shower, fallen against the door.  He could not get in, but the ambulance 

came quickly and used a ladder to get inside, to move her and to open the door.  She was still alive but 

not conscious, and they took her to hospital, where the husband of 70 years as well as her children and grand-

children gathered round.  She died 24 hours later without regaining consciousness.  We used to think 

that the way my wife's mother died, asleep in her own bed, looking forward to seeing her new grandson 

the next day, was almost ideal, except that it came as a shock to her loved ones.  In that regard this 

was even 'better', since the stroke was instant and she was not in pain (they said her face would show 

it if she was), but the family had that 24 hours to gather and supoport each other, kiss her and hold her 

hand and say goodbye.  

So my prayer would be that your loved-one not be in physical pain or mental anguish - that you and the

family support him and each other, acknowledge all the love and care he has given and the wonderful 

things he has achieved over the years, and let him go gently when he is ready and has had enough, 

secure in the knowledge that he will be loved and remembered, that his influence will live on in many 

ways - that the world is a significantly better place than it would have been, had he not been born into 

it (and that yiou, especially, have had such wonderful years of love, friendship and companionship).

Please send him this blessing: 

Y'varechecha Adonai v'yishmareicha - May God bless you, and keep you

Ya'eir Adonai panav eleicha viy-khuneka - May God shine upon you and be gracious to you

Yisa Adonai panav eleicha, v'yasem l'cha shalom - May God's face be lifted up to you, and give you peace.

Finally, and consonant with what I said above, that God does not take life, and that the soul returns to 

'the shelter of God's wing', when the time comes, ask the person leading the funeral to use Rabbi Frank

Hellner's beautiful, interpretive translation:

Adonai natan vAdonai lakach, y'hi shem Adonai m'vorach - God has given, and now God has received 

back - may God's name be blessed.

Simchat Torah/Shmini Atzeret

Simcha Torah / Shmini Atzeret


The day after the seven days of Sukkot is biblically ordained as 'the eighth day of Assembly' (Shmini Atzeret).  As such it is supposed to be a major festival - a day when one abstains from work etc.

However, we are never as good at finishing things as starting them (compare how many people mark the end of Shabbat with Havdalah as start it with kiddush, or mark the last day of Pesach - also a 'main festival day', compared to having a seder).

The Talmudic Rabbis of Babylon, whose tradition was to read through the Torah in a calendar year, were able to infuse this day with a new meaning, by effectively superimposing a new festival on it - Simchat Torah - Rejoicing of the Torah.  They concluded the reading on Shmini Atzeret, and immediately rolled back the Torah and commenced from Genesis again, complete with singing and dancing.  This way, we can say 'There is no time in Jewish life without Torah'. 

Not only did they therefore create a new, post-biblical (and thus technically 'minor') festival which took precedence in people's minds over Shmini Atzeret, but they also added a source of confusion to Jewish children for all generations to come:  Why isn't the festival which has 'Torah' in its name, and when we finish and start again the cycle of reading the Torah, the Festival of Giving Torah?

That's because 'it just isn't'!  Those same Rabbis had also observed that there was a Biblically ordained (hence 'major') festival (Shavuot) without a biblically connected historical event.  It was one of the three pilgrim festivals, but whereas Pesach lasts a week and is about the Exodus from Egypt and Freedom, and Sukkot lasts a week and is about the Forty Years in the desert, and is about God's Salvation and Protection, Shavuot only lasts one day - and Torah tells us nothing about its meaning.

But they noticed that there was also a major biblical event which had not been connected to a festival - the Revelation of Torah or Matan Torah at Mount Sinai, and with a bit of jigging the dates, they could claim that this occurred on Shavuot.  Hence the Rabbis actually introduced not one but two festivals with Torah celebrations!         

CHATAN TORAH AND B'RESHIT

Anyway, one of the customs that developed was that the call up to read the final verses of the Torah in Deuteronomy (or the blessings over them, if they are then read for them), and the call up to read the very first verses of Genesis (Bereshit) were deemed to be the most important accolades in the Jewish year.  So these two pillars of the community were given the titles of Chatan Torah (Bridegroom of the Torah) and Chatan B'reshit (Bridegroom of Genesis).  Since we call up women as well as men, we call the women 'Kallat' (Bride of), hence Kallat Torah and Kallat B'reshit as suits.

Whilst these people may be great leaders in the community, they are not always able to read Torah (with no vowels, of course), but in case they wish to prepare, here is the transliteration of the final call up and the first call up: 

But here is the transliteration for 10 and 11 (and 12) if you want to prepare it all:

10: V'lo kam navi od b'Yisrael k'Moshe

asher yad-o Adonai panim el panim.

12: L'chol ha-otot v'ha-moftim

asher shal-cho Adonai 

la-asot b'Eretz Mitzrayim

l'Phar-oh u-l'chol avadav

u-l'chol arzo. 

12: U-l'chol ha-yad ha-chazaka

u-v-chol ha-moreh ha-gadol 

asher asa Moshe

l'ei-nei kol Yisrael.  

(The congregation say 'Chazak, Chazak v'nitchazek' - be strong, be strong and let us be strengthened by it)

The Torah is then rolled back (this can be done as a community activity, but take care as it is easily damaged, and needs to be rerolled tightly.  Remember that the parchment can be held top and bottom but no fingers should touch the text, simply because we don't want any grease and oils from the fingers on it).

1. B'reishit, bara Elohim 

et ha-shamayim v'et ha-aretz

2. V'ha-aretz hayta tohu va-vohu

v'chosech al p'nei t'hom

v'ruach Elohim m'ra-chefet 

al p'nei ha-mayim.

3. Vayomer Elohim 

'Y'hi or', va-y'hi or

4. Vayar Elohim et ha-or, ki tov

va-yavdel Elohim 

bein ha'or u-vein ha-choshech

5. Vayikra Elohim la-or 'Yom'

v'la-choshech kara 'Lailah'

Vay-hi erev vay-hi boker, yom echad

Why don't we single out Kohanim (priests)?

I found out an interesting fact from Jonathan Keren-Black the other day: there is no Kohanim line at the Progressive Judaism Cemetery.

I'm liking the Progressives more and more...

Just one question, why do we still have the Kohenim songs and prayers in our Siddur and Machzor?

Rabbi Jonathan responds:

With regard to a cemetery: There is an ancient belief that being in touch with the dead makes one ritually unclean.  This is why there is a tradition to wash after the funeral.  At many cemeteries you'll find special taps etc and people going to do so after the funeral.  Most Progressive Jews do not worry about such things, either being ignorant of them (as we don't teach them as an important part of Jewish life) or considering them superstition.  Common sense would suggest that they are to do with hygiene (and consequently superseded by much more effective modern health regulations) - if a person has died, it may have been from a contagious disease, and washing after any contact would have been a very good idea!). 

However, there are special restrictions for Kohanim - the priests could not do their ceremonial work (running the Tabernacle and later the First and Second Temples) if they were impure. Therefore they were not allowed to be in touch with the dead (except very close relatives like parents, unmarried sister etc).  

This has been perpetuated even to this day - so a Cohen (a male believed to be descended from the priestly family) is not allowed to come close to the dead.  Thus there will be a path or boundary beyond which they should not go at a cemetery.  In the Brown's Road Jewish cemetery chapel in Melbourne, the coffin is actually in a separate building, though visible through large matching windows in that building and the chapel.  In Kazimierz, the old Jewish part of Krakow in Poland, there is still a sign that says 'COHANIM BEWARE!!! Only the opposite sidewalk can be used for walking on this street!!! The sidewalk on this side and part of the roadway have been paved over graves'.  Similarly, El Al adjusts some flight paths to try to avoid flying over cemeteries (!), and there have been stories of Cohanim wrapping themselves in plastic to safeguard themselves (plastic is not listed in the bible as one of the many materials that 'conducts impurity'!).  

In the Progressive Jewish world, which has no wish to return to the centralisation of the Temple in Jerusalem, or the daily animal sacrifices, or the sole authority of the priesthood, we therefore have no need or interest to perpetuate the division of the Jewish people into castes: Kohanim (1st class), Levi'im (2nd class) and Yisraelim (the rest, third class)!  

So we do not ignore the fact that Kohanim are a part of the ancient Israelite past - but when the Temple was no more, they really had no specific role remaining. Since we see all Jews (and all people) as equals, we do not favour a special responsibility simply by accident of birth into a particular tribe (Levites) or family (Kohanim)- or for that matter of gender (male)! But there are many things to cherish and use, or re-use or recycle from our past, and the 'Priestly blessing 'y'varechecha' is one - May God bless you and keep you; May God enlighten you and be gracious to you; May you feel God's Presence within you, and may it bring you peace' (page 99, Mishkan T'filah, World Union Edition). There is just no reason why this beautiful blessing should be said exclusively by Kohanim, and you'll often find Rabbis using it, for example at a Baby Naming or at a Bat or Bar Mitzvah!

What is a Consulting Rabbi?

If a congregation is a constituent of the Union for Progressive Judaism, Australia, New Zealand and Asia, and they don't employ their own Rabbi, then they need to have a relationship with another member of the Rabbinic Body, the 'Moetzah', and they are called their 'Consulting Rabbi'.  They should be available to answer any status questions regarding potential members, conversions, divorce etc.

The Consulting Rabbi is expected to develop a relationship with the congregation over time by visiting at least annually to lead services and study activities etc over a weekend. This is paid for by the congregation.  The Rabbi is also available for reasonable phone/Skype and/or email conversations and support to the Chair and Executive.  

The mechanism is that the Moetzah discusses who is the consulting Rabbi where, which congregation needs one etc, when it meets six monthly.  It then makes suggestions of matches to the congregations (which may be conveyed via the UPJ or through the Movement Rabbi).

The congregational Board then decides whether that suggestion will work for them.  If so, they agree and it is a shidduch - if not, they say so, and we try to make a better match!

In other words, it is important to understand that the CR is not imposed on the congregation.

How do we support students part-way through conversion course?

Dear Rabbi,

We currently have 5 people on our conversion to Judaism programme. They have all completed an Introduction to Judaism course that was facilitated by the last Rabbi before he left. In addition, they have attended a variety of forums, are attending services and are all studying Hebrew.

We are hoping to have at least two of these candidates ready for a Beth Din when you can arrange one in around six months time. But we are needing your guidance on:

   - How we assess what knowledge the candidates have (and what their gaps are)

      

       We are doing a 'audit' of what courses they have attended, but this will not tell us what

       they have actually learned. Yours guidance and help with ways to assess their learning

       would be much appreciated (e.g. Is there an 'exam' we could give them? Would it be

       possible/ useful for you to speak to them?)

  -  Once we know what the gaps are, guidance on how best to fill these?

Rabbi Jonathan responded:

Lovely to hear from you.  

There is a process to assist you with the wonderful opportunity of welcoming people to Judaism - once the studies are completed, there are 'Take Home' Essays to write first.  These can be done from notes, books, internet etc. and partners can assist.  

1) It is easiest to send them to the student as a Word file.

2) I suggest that these are then submitted on computer and someone (your tutor?) goes through them using 'Track Changes' to make major corrections, comments etc.

3) Then send them back to the candidate for consideration.

4) Then send the revised version to the Supervising Rabbi (each person accepted for Conversion with congregations of the Union for Progressive Judaism has to be accepted by a Supervising Rabbi), or, if the Supervising Rabbi is no longer available, to the congregation's Consulting Rabbi (every congregation in the Movement must have a Rabbi or Consulting Rabbi who is a member of the Rabbinic Body, the Moetzah).

5) If the Supervising or Consulting Rabbi is happy, you should then administer the 'Closed Book' paper.  There is no pass mark and no time limit on this - it usually takes up to 2 hours.  It is done without resources (books, phones etc).  This gives the Bet Din an 'inventory' of how much the student has internalised (for obvious reasons, this document should be printed out and not circulated!)

If there are major errors or gaps, teach them.  If necessary, resit.  Then send that back to the Supervising or Consulting Rabbi.  

If they are happy with both these papers (and you report that the student can decipher and 'read' Hebrew to the best of their ability, and have been participating actively in the congregation for at least a year) then we can set a Bet Din for them.  

We have a regular Bet Din in Melbourne and in Sydney.  For one candidate, it is usually better for them to come to these.  Once there is more than one candidate for the Bet Din, it may be preferable to set up a local Bet Din (this requires 2 Rabbis or Cantors, both members of the Moetzah).  The cost is split between the candidates, the congregation/s, the UPJ and the Moetzah.  Ritual immersion and circumcision will be required as necessary following acceptance by the Bet Din, and the congregation then arranges a welcome ceremony (which may be private or public depending on the wishes of those just accepted).   

WHEN THE TORAH PORTION IS AHEAD OF THE ORTHODOX

WHY ARE WE RUNNING AHEAD?

I know we are progressive, but why have we progressed to be a full week ahead in all our Torah readings?  We read Acharei Mot on Saturday 1^st May when most other synagogues read it on 8^th May, we start the book of Numbers (and read the first portion, Bmidbar)’ on 4^th June when others are starting it on 11^th, and even on 6^th August we are reading Masei when most congregations are reading Mattot-Masei?  

The short and easy answer is that we follow the Israeli Torah readings.  The more involved explanation is that the tradition developed that outside of Israel, where Jews were uncertain of exactly whether the new moon had been sighted and thus a new month declared in Israel, would mark two first days of festivals.  If one was not correct, it must be the other.  So each festival became a day longer, the one day Shavu’ot of became two, and the seven day festivals of Pesach and Sukkot became eight days.  This also explains second night seder – it is really the first night (Seder night), but repeated on the next night in case that was really the first night!   

By two thousand years ago, astronomers (some of whom were the Rabbis themselves) were able to determine exactly when the new moon would appear and produced detailed tables years in advance.  But tradition had taken hold, and that was that!  Until the Progressive movement came along and said ‘we know when the new moon is, and we only need observe festivals as instructed in the Torah!’.

But how does this explain why we are a week ahead in our Torah readings at the moment?  Because for us the seven days of Pesach started on 22^nd April and concluded on the sunset of 29^th April, whereas the orthodox (outside of Israel) continued to celebrate Pesach until the end of Shabbat on 30^th April.  So Shabbat was not Pesach for us (and hence we returned to the regular Torah reading cycle) but it was for the orthodox (who instead read special readings for the last day of Pesach).

Actually this happens in many years, but usually only for a few weeks at a time.  But because this is a leap year in the Hebrew (as well as Gregorian) calendar, there is only one ‘doubled-up’ Torah reading, Matot-Ma’asei.  (Doubled-up readings ‘take up the slack’ in a normal year, so that there are enough Torah readings to go around even in a leap year with an extra month in it).  So from Shabbat 30^th April, all the way through to Shabbat 30^th July, we will be a week ahead – so if you want to know what happens next in the Torah story, come and hear it at LBC!

(You can get the Progressive Torah reading calendar on Google calendar by searching PROGRESSIVE JUDAISM CALENDAR WITH SHABBAT AND FESTIVALS or by using the link oi25cfvcm19vdoquc8p3abif68@group.calendar.google.com). 

Do we do Pidyon HaBen - Redemption of the first born?

Not usually: Let me first give the background (with thanks to help from Torah and Wiki!).

In Exodus 13:2 at the end of Parshat Bo, God is reported to instruct that: ‘Every firstborn that opens the womb amongst the Israelites, whether human or animal, is to be set aside as holy to Me, for they are Mine.’

Moses seems to expand on this in Exodus 13:12-13, explaining that firstborn cattle were to be offered as sacrifices, a firstborn ass (not kosher as a sacrifice) was to be swapped ('redeemed') with a sheep (or be 'given' by breaking its neck), and firstborn sons were also 'redeemed', though here it doesn't specify how. Moses' explanation (Exodus 13:15) is that God slew every firstborn in Egypt, animal and human (so this is apparently a perpetual reminder of the tenth plague).

In Numbers 3:41-45, after the sin of the Golden Calf, we find repeated twice the instruction: 'Take the Levites instead of all the firstborn among the children of Israel, and the Levites shall be Mine - I am the Eternal One.'  This is because the Levites were loyal to God, and seems to imply that the firstborn were to be God's functionaries in running the Tabernacle, but lost that honour because of their involvement in the Golden Calf, to be replaced by the Levites. 

There were apparently 273 more firstborn Israelites than Levites, and Aaron and his sons, the priests, were to be given five shekels per head in compensation for each of these, this being called 'redemption money', Numbers 3:46-51.

So we can deduce that originally, the first born son in each family was to serve God as a functionary, but they were replaced by the Levites, and the value of this 'redemption' from a life of holy service was 5 shekels each.

Over the generations and especially in transition from 'Israelitism' (biblical Judaism) to Judaism (Rabbinic Judaism), these details were formalised. The Shulkhan Arukh states that when a Jewish woman gives birth to a firstborn male (but only by natural means) then the child must be "redeemed". The process is that the father of the child purchases back the child from a known Kohen (representing the original Temple priesthood), for the sum of five silver Shekels, or equivalent in their country's currency. The procedure does not apply when the father is a Kohen or Levite (because then the child will continue that line and need not - and cannot - be redeemed from the responsibility).

This redemption ceremony is performed when at least thirty days have passed since the child's birth, since child mortality was common and a child was not considered to have proven its viability until after 30 days.

Pidyon HaBen is an interesting question as we don't usually do it in the Progressive Movement, I think largely because of course we don't recognise Priests etc. and therefore the concept of the firstborn serving as priests... and needing to be redeemed.  (There is also a problem of discrimination - it only counts if your first born is a boy, and if he is not born by Caesarean). But we could adapt and reinterpret the tradition to the idea of thanking God for the start of the next generation, which is a lovely idea, and where it is done, the money is directed to charity - so perhaps it should go to a baby care or mothers' support charity.  On the other hand, there are so many costs involved with a first new baby - and if it is a boy you already have to pay the mohel, so perhaps we don't need another way to make a 'religious charge' on the family!   

Rabbi Jonathan

PREPARING THE TORAH

It is essential to prepare the Torah reading properly, and it is usual to do this with a Tikkun, which has the portion written with vowels and singing notes on one side, and as it appears in the Torah alongside it.  It is far preferable to read from the Torah, but it is disrespectful to the congregation (and the tradition) if it is not prepared as well as you can do.  There is nothing wrong with having someone to read the chumash and prompt or assist - that is a normal and sensible thing to do!

By the way it does not need to be chanted.  My own preference is to read a verse, and then translate it (sometimes with a bit of explanation and interpretation, which is teh way it was done by the 'Mturgeman - translator/interpretor - which is why the Targum - aramaic ' translation' is printed in the traditional commentaries and often referred to by the commentators).  Many people tell me that this makes the portion more accessible and meaningful.

I find it useful to use coloured sticky markers - they leave no trace after removal - but always put them ALONGSIDE the letters, NOT on them!

Mark the line in which the sentence starts or ends.

I use the same colours to mark the start and end in the chumash as well, so you can tell people exactly where the next part is commencing - eg we are starting at Leviticus 21 verse 10, which you can follow on page 796, left hand column of hebrew, last line, two words from the end - that is page 796, left hand column, last line, second word from the end - verse 10 (always worth repeating these details!).

When to say 'Shabbat Shalom' (A Peaceful Sabbath)

When to say 'Shabbat Shalom' (A Peaceful Sabbath)

People wish each other 'shabbat shalom' instead of 'goodbye' in the day or so leading up to Shabbat - meaning 'when shabbat comes, have a good one'.  It is wrong, however, to say 'shabbat shalom' as 'hallo' until it is actually shabbat!

Can we involve someone who is not Jewish in a service, and if so to what extent?

We know that traditionally, ,and even among Australian Progressive Jews, non-Jews weren't called up to the Torah, but I believe there may have been some rethinking happening on this score. We'd be very grateful if you could advise on current policy. It seems strange to us to be calling up someone who isn't Jewish, but on the other hand we can appreciate it's uncomfortable for the family when people (such as a parent) are left out.


Rabbi Jonathan answers

You are right that we don't do 'call-ups' for non-Jews.  It doesn't make 'Jewish sense' (we invite anyone male to cover their heads out of respect the tradition of the synagogue, but we don't invite them to wear a tallit, representing the commandments, or open the ark, or take out or carry or elevate the Torah, since Torah represents the Jewish framework of life).  However, we also don't ignore the non-Jewish parts of the family.  

The way we deal with this situation in communities I have worked in is to call up the Jewish partner by their Jewish name, and the non-Jewish 'in English' - eg: 'and with her we ask Andrew to join us' - i.e. the non-Jew is an 'adjunct' to a traditional call-up.  At the Leo Baeck Centre the Jewish person comes to the right of the bimah, from where the blessings are always read.  The non-Jew goes to the left of the bimah.  After the call-up, the Jewish person goes to the other side (left) for Mi Shebeirach (the next call up, if there is one, comes to the right side).  This means that, after the blessings, the Jewish person has gone to the left side of the bimah and met up with the non-Jewish one, at which point they can be given an appropriate blessing/words together.  Note that there is a prayer about Torah for non-Jews (if they have some spiritual belief as it is addressed to 'Holy one of Blessing') in our prayer book - middle of page  369 of Mishkan T'filah World Union Edition.  This is more or less a composite of the blessings before and after the Torah reading, but is about 'the Jewish people', not 'us'.  If this is to be used, it would be read by the non-Jewish person once joined by the Jewish one and before their Mi Shebeirach.

Of course if the non-Jew is estranged from the partner, or has no direct connections (eg is a friend), they will need to come up with someone else Jewish who is called up in the usual sense.  But unless there is good reason to have the non-Jew involved with the Torah service (ie they are a parent of a BM or parent or close sibling of a person about to be married), I would advise not to do it. Give them something else to do - eg read one of the prayers 'For our Country' on page 376 of Mishkan T'filah World Union Edition.

Rabbi Jonathan

Can a Jew be buried in a non-Jewish graveyard? Or a non-Jew in a Jewish one?

Dear Rabbi,

Can a Jew be buried next to their Jewish partner in a non-Jewish cemetery or does it need to be in a consecrated Jewish cemetery?  And similarly, can a non-Jewish partner be buried in a Jewish cemetery?  Can a Rabbi or Jewish leader lead a service for a non-Jew? And what can the Jew do about a funeral service, prayers, and can they say Kaddish for their non-Jewish loved one?

With best wishes.

Thanks for your enquiry about burial outside of a consecrated Jewish cemetery.

We feel that in these sad circumstances, we should be ready and willing to assist.  The person leading the service should simply acknowledge that by holding this service, we are consecrating this plot forever as a Jewish burial site which will be marked in due course by the symbol (Magen-David or Menorah) on the stone.

It might be useful to know that our main cemetery here in Melbourne Australia is not a Jewish-only cemetery (even the Jewish sections of it).  It is municipal, and as such anyone can be buried anywhere in it. In the reverse situation, which you also ask about, there are without doubt Jews non-Jews and Jews buried together (and even a few stones marked with crosses!) and in fact in particular circumstances – for example where a non-Jewish partner has never formally converted but has always been present and supportive to the community and has requested a ‘Jewish-style’ burial, my colleagues and I have on occasion led the ceremony. One was a non-Jewish father who was a regular attender and supporter, especially as his children were preparing for Bar/bat Mitzvah.  I supported and visited him in hospital and when he wanted to talk about death and asked me if I would do the ceremony and support his family, I was not prepared to say no, and indeed saw it as an honour and a mitzvah.  This non-Jew had seen and recognised the beauty and value, the power and meaning of our tradition from close-up, and celebrated and internalised it with his family.  These are real situations that we live with in the modern world!  And I would not worry about 'what the orthodox say' - people in need, and anyone with sensitivity and compassion, will applaud and understand it.  And the orthodox Rabbis also conduct burials at Springvale, even with non-Jews in the next grave!

When it comes to the funeral, and discussion of shiva, minyan, saying Kaddish etc, I would say that we must make it quite clear that the person was not Jewish.  However the partner or family are.  We are doing what we can, not only to satisfy the request of the deceased, but also to support the family through this difficult period.  So I would not call it a minyan, but if they wish to hold a gathering in the evening(s), we should never discourage Jews from praying together - and talking about their loved ones.  Non-Jews may certainly say Kaddish for their loved ones, for which it is traditional for the community (a minyan) to gather round. The mourning process for Jews consists of the deepest loss, immediately after death until burial (as soon as possible), then the first week (shiva), then the rest of the first month (sh'loshim), and then the rest of the year at which time they may wish to light a memorial candle (yahrzeit) - and at that time each year, to keep alive the memory and discussion about their loved one. By the time of the first yahrzeit, it is hoped that live has returned to a new 'normal', where the loved one is in the heart and thoughts and memories though no longer in the physical presence of the family.  

I do hope that is of assistance.   

Rabbi Jonathan

Why are our Torah portions occasionally different from the orthodox?

 Dear Rabbi,

I have long been confused as to why, on some Shabbatot, the parsha listed for progressive services differs from that listed by orthodox.  As it happens, Saturday 18th April which is when John and I next lead services, is one of those.  According to the progressive listing I have (http://news.reformjudaism.org.uk/torah-readings.html ), the possible parsha readings for that week are from Tazria-M’tzora but the Chabad web site lists that Shabbat as Sh’mini.

Can you explain this mystery for me?  It would be good to know the reasons as we do get congregants who are nominally orthodox coming to our progressive services and we may get asked about this.  I have done some preliminary research and suspect it’s to do with a 3-year cycle of readings as opposed to an annual cycle but I haven’t found anything definitive.

Rabbi Jonathan Keren-Black replies:

If you use an electronic calendar, you can import the Google public calendar ‘PROGRESSIVE JUDAISM CALENDAR WITH SHABBAT AND FESTIVALS’

The answer regarding the Torah readings is straightforward once you get it, but complicated to explain!  In some years, on one or two occasions, the orthodox 'extra day' of festivals intrudes into shabbat whereas ours (and Israel's) do not.  This coming shabbat is an example.  For us (and Israel), Pesach finishes on Friday at sunset, so shabbat is just shabbat.  But for the orthodox outside Israel, you need to remember that originally, over 2000 years ago, the new moon was only announced once it had been sighted - or by default.  A new moon can be one day or the next.  So if it was sighted, and confirmed on the first day, then THAT was the first day of the month.  If it was sighted on the day after - or if it was not sighted, because it was cloudy etc - then THAT was the first day of the month!  Within Israel, it was considered that there was time to sort this out before the festivals occurred (except, perhaps, for Rosh Hashanah, the only one that falls at the start of the month!).  But outside Israel, there was concern that the message might not get through, or there might be a mistake.  Hence they observed both the first day a festival could be - and the second!

As Pesach COULD HAVE started last Friday night OR last Saturday night, this coming Saturday COULD BE the 7th day Pesach (there is no such thing as 8th day, even for the orthodox - they celebrate Seder night - and the first day on the first day that COULD be Pesach - but they know that they may have celebrated a day early (!) - so they celebrate the first day AGAIN the next day - hence second seder is actually the night that would be first seder if the night before turned out to be premature!).

The silly thing is that we have known the exact and correct days for 1800 years (Mar Shmuel in Babylon calculated the dates - including the leap year system that keeps our years in line with the seasons - so accurately that it still works today!).  But - tradition! So the orthodox continue to have to eat matzah for an extra day (though no-one has ever explained why they don't fast for second day Yom Kippur!).

We, like Israel, continue with our weekly Torah readings (in this case Sh'mini) but they have a special reading for (second) last day Pesach! They call it 8th day for simplicity, but if you have followed me, you will see that it is really 7th day (repeated).  It is only 8th day in relation to our 7 days!

So, we are a week ahead for a few weeks.  This also sometimes happens when Shavuot is on Friday (the orthodox then have it on Friday and again on Saturday!).  

The next question is how do they 'catch up' when we are ahead (or ‘how do we slow down’).  Now several times in a regular year we can have double Torah portions (eg Tazria/Metzorah), because there are 'excess' Torah portions, so that there are enough even in a leap year (with an extra month and four extra shabbatot to fill).  And the week after next is the one where the orthodox will be reading Tazria/Metzorah.  So this week we will read Shmini, and the next week (when they read Shmini) we'll be reading Tazria.  The following week, (when they read Tazria/Metzorah) we'll be reading Metzorah - and voila - after that we're back in sync!

I hope that is clearer!

Good luck explaining it!

One other point from this – even though Israel marks 2 days Rosh Hashanah since it falls at the beginning of the month, since we have known the exact day when the month starts for 1800 years, and since ‘Yom T’ruah’ is a day-long festival (not ‘Y’mei T’ruah!), there is no necessity to mark it for 2 days, whether Israel does or not!  So, for those who wish to have a second day (and why not have an extra service – we should have three every day of the year!), it should be called ‘2^nd day Tishrei’ (as we call it), not ‘2^nd day Rosh Hashanah’.

L'shalom

Rabbi Jonathan 

Children, babies and breastfeeding

Small communities are likely to have a wide variety of ages - from babies and young children, young parents, experienced parents all the way through to elderly and frail.  Most communities have a similar variety - but in small communities they are more likely to come along together, because there isn't the luxury or resource of age-specific activities.

This is an issue that came up recently for a group we support, and this is a message that was sent by the organiser to two of the team:

Thanks for listening to people's feelings and views about the children and breastfeeding at services.

I think we are doing well together in handling each issue as it arises for the group.

Rabbi Jonathan doesn't think there is a particular solution - in fact he remembers how he and his brothers were taken to shul each week from the day they were born, no doubt sometimes doing what babies and young children do - yet as they got older, his own parents used to turn and glare at noisy children and their parents!  We all change, and sometimes our memories conveniently forget!

He suggests the best we can do is probably:-

1) talk with the father and say that some older members are finding the children a challenge, and encourage him to bring more things for them to do.

2) We let other people know that we are figuring it out together, and perhaps that we are listening more and are more aware. I got the impression someone wanted to say how she felt, and then concluded that things are changing.....she didn't seem to need an immediate solution.

The question of breastfeeding is one we may have to listen to others about a bit longer. I can tell the mother that some people are uncomfortable with it so maybe think about how she does it, but we need to be careful as we don't want to be considered critical.  I believe she does it to try and 'keep the baby quiet'.  Perhaps she can use a blanket or cover? 

So no magic answers, and I guess we all continue to listen, hold out for inclusion of everyone.

I will continue to be with the children at the services and meals, and help out. I invite others to do the same - that will help everyone 'settle', I hope - worth a try!

Rabbi Jonathan will mention that we all have differing needs and attention spans in the group - acknowledge that there are issues and differing wishes.

Do you think there is anything else to do, apart from our continued patient listening? Do email or call me with your views /ideas. Three minds are better than one.

We have someone interested in learning more about Judaism and perhaps converting. What can we do?

The Union For Progressive Judaism, through its Progressive Judaism Victoria group (pjv.org.au) offers an on-line distance learning 'Introduction to Judaism' course which is hard work but excellent and comprehensive.  It can in appropriate cases be considered as the 'knowledge base' for continuing to Conversion, along with other requirements such as Hebrew reading ability, relationship with a (Sponsoring) Rabbi and congregation etc.  The course requires an accredited tutor - we have these available via PJV, or if you have a member of your community who has been doing this, or who you feel can be considered, please contact me at tutor1@pjv.org.au.  Clearly it is helpful to have a member who the student can see at services from time to time etc. and who can also extend some hospitality and mentoring to the student.

The specific page for the online course information is: http://pjv.org.au/education/introduction-judaism-course-online-course#overlay-context=education/introduction-judaism-course-online-course

There is a blog with Q and As which you should refer people to, at:
http://progressivejudaism.blogspot.com.au/

Rabbi Jonathan

What is the Jewish model for mourning?

THE JEWISH MOURNING PROCESS DIAGRAM

This diagram illustrates the Jewish mourning process.  The black cylinder represents the abyss of loss between the death and the funeral.

Returning from the funeral and lighting the shiva candle, which burns for a week, is the first small step away from the loss. The first week is the most intense and it is traditional to avoid regular concerns such as work, shopping etc.  Others should visit and look after the bereaved.

The next stage of mourning is the remainder of the shloshim, the first thirty days or month from the death.  This is a further step away from the first intensity of your loss.

The final formal stage is the remainder of the year, towards the end of which the stone is traditionally consecrated.  At the end of the first year, the yahrzeit candle is lit.

After this, you are of course not expected to forget or stop missing your loved one.  However it does mark the last step back into normal life, albeit a new normality with the memories of your loved one rather than their physical presence.  

Each year, lighting the yahrzeit candle brings the anniversary of their death, and the warmth and blessing of their life, back to mind for the family.

(C) Rabbi Jonathan Keren-Black

Bet Olam Jewish funerals, Melbourne, Australia 2012/5773

Please feel free to pass on or reproduce with attribution only

What liturgy to use for a funeral

Question:What liturgy should we use for a funeral?

RESPONSE:
The British Liberal Movement publish a very nice, hard-back book called 'Tzidduk Ha-din - Funeral Service and Service for the Consecration of a Memorial'.
It is appropriate, sensitive and clear - it is fully degendered, and is very reasonably priced. The only issue may be that, whilst it is in Hebrew (and the Mourner's Kaddish in the traditional Aramaic) and English, it does not include transliteration.  I suggest a community orders at least two copies (in Australia we don't usually give orders of service to the gathering at a funeral), probably for practical reasons.
The ‘Tzidduk Ha-Din’ Funeral Service from Liberal Judaism (UK) can be found at http://www.liberaljudaism.org/written-word-resources/shop.html.  If the website won't let you order it, contact their office direct: books@liberaljudaism.org.  

I think using a  book suits the dignity of the occasion, and A4-sized booklets, loose sheets and photocopies do not, especially since people will be standing around and see it, and the person leading the service may be struggling with the weather and without a reading desk.  A hard cover book can be held in one hand.

A practical suggestion for the eulogy.  Make sure the person's hebrew name is clearly at the top.  Fold the eulogy and insert in the right page (between page 16 and 17) and close page 15 on to it.  Slide it 1 cm out from the page at the top - and write the hebrew name along the exposed 1 cm as well.  This way, you will have the name visible when you need it on page 15 (if a man) or page 16 (if a woman).

Page numbers refer to this publication.


Question:What are the essential prayers that must be said?

RESPONSE:
I would say that the absolute minimum are:

1) 'El Maleh Rachamim' (page 15 or 16), 

2) the words at the top of page 18:
In humble submission to God's will (you'll need the full English name here)...

3) Adonai natan vadonai lakach... BUT I translate it as 'God has given, and NOW GOD HAS RECEIVED BACK; may God's name be praised'

4) May s/he come to her/his FINAL rest in peace

5) One of the readings on page 20

6) Kaddish on page 21 (Note that this version adds 'V'al kol bnai Adam - and to all humanity' to the last words of the kaddish).


However, I'd add one of the readings that is appropriate, p.4-8, and the opening prayer on page 9, and perhaps top of page 12, and perhaps top of page 13 (though don't say 'saying together' at the end of that paragraph since they won't be - say 'as we say'...

You could do 'Atah gibor, page 13, not least because it will be more familiar hebrew as it is in the T'filah - except watch out - it does not have the concluding blessing!

If you wish to do 'You are righteous' at the top of page 13, you could go straight from 'Even in our sorrow, we praise your name, saying Atah Gibor l'olam Adonai... (and miss out Baruch Dayan HaEmet - which is theologically problematic - we don't really believe that God judges us and takes our lives, which is the implication here!).

Psalm 23 or 121 are traditional funeral psalms - one or other could be used.


Question: When is the best time in the order of the service to deliver the Chesped (eulogy)?

RESPONSE
The Chesped fits well immediately after El Maleh Rachamim, before page 17.

 Question: If we are going to have the service in the chapel at the cemetery, what is a good point to stop for the procession to the graveside?

RESPONSE:
If you are going to move, then do that after the Chesped.  Psalm 23 on page 17 can be read as the coffin is accompanied to the grave, which is traditional, and much better than people chattering!

You can read at the bottom of page 17 as you are preparing to lower the coffin.
LOWER THE COFFIN whilst reading top of page 18 (or read it after lowered).

There is a logistical challenge at this point - if the weather is bad or there are few mourners, they won't get the grave filled - so when do you stop to say kaddish?

What I do is invite the family to commence the burial with the sand from Israel.  I tip some from the bag into each of their hands, and they throw it on. Having therefore commenced the burial, we then invite them to say the Mourners' Kaddish (and the gathering to 'support them' in saying it) - 

Then say the formula at the bottom of page 22 (this is a 'universal' version - the traditional one concludes with 'Av'lei Yerushalayim')

Then ask them to put the earth on the coffin, followed by everyone else who wishes to assist. I explain that the tradition is to put on three shovelfulls - and then to place the shovel back in the earth, where the next person can take it - our tradition is not to pass it directly to the next person.

As long as the coffin is covered, we can then reassure people that, once we move away, the staff will come to complete the burial.

After an appropriate time, it is important to gently move the family away from the graveside, particularly if they are very emotional. This is the beginning of moving away from the physical presence of their loved one and on into their new reality.

Question:  What is different if if it is  cremation?

RESPONSE: 
You don't put earth on the coffin!  Everything else is the same - push the button or otherwise arrange the curtain or whatever device is used at the top of page 18, where you would be lowering the coffin into the grave.  Again, at the conclusion, move the family out and away from the coffin as soon as comfortable.  As with burial, this is the beginning of moving away from the physical presence of their loved one and on into their new reality.